Introducing…

Brother Archibald

May 1^st 1103

Dear Diary, I have started writing this diary because

my life is so boring and depressing that I thought I needed to start recording my boring and depressing life.

I am a monk!

Today I kissed Brother Steven, it was like kissing a wall, come to think of it, it was a wall. The wall tasted like soap, I think it’s because me and Brother Paul were washing it earlier on that day. Brother Paul smelled like lolly-pops, so I ate him. He didn’t taste of lolly-pops but he tasted of beef. His deceased, supreme…crème-coloured bones were so…beautiful. So I cried. I had to find a place to burry Brother Paul’s bones, so I buried them were Sister Ada was buried 122 ½ years ago. Then I pondered… and pondered… and then I thought…and I came to a conclusion that monks are delicious, but I had to stop myself from eating them because they are my family.

I also did a hard day’s work of pulling up 2 radishes and then I felt exhausted so I called on Brother Joe and paid him in paint to do my work, he was thrilled. So I thought to myself ‘ I made someone happy.’ And then I felt brutally ill, and so I cried again.

After that we went back to the monastery and preyed with Sister Joanna.

Then we all had supper, we had bread, witch tasted like wood, and some water, witch tasted like …well…liquid wood.

Goodnight my beautiful diary.

                       

                                                     

P.S. I drew a picture of my Monastery.

By Rosie GQ